Things Writers Say

We’re an interesting breed, us writers. We have wild imaginations, and I suppose that sort of predisposes us to the craft. After all, if you don’t have the creative willpower to make shit up, how are you going to write whole books? There’s a dirty little secret behind the finished products that the world at large gets to see… and it’s the random weirdness that comes out of us when we’re off the page.

For amusement (and because I’m apparently a masochist and enjoy having my friends threaten my life), have a look at some of the crazy conversations we have. I’m not giving context on these, so just enjoy them for what they are.

CONVERSATION ONE: Selah Janel and me:

Me: okay…enough whoring.
Selah: lol
Me: maybe one more…
Selah: meh, I have to put on pants eventually.
Me: pants are good in public.
Selah: yeah, i know. and in the winter.


Selah: all right…time for me to put on pants.
Me: enjoy your pants.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

CONVERSATION 2: Alexandra Christian, Crymsyn Hart, and Me:

(I wasn’t part of this one…just a witness. It still amuses me)

Lexxx: Azrael and Scarlett won’t have sex yet. *sigh* assholes…
Crymsyn: lol That is the way it goes sometimes. And I am happy to say I did not cut and paste.
Lexxx: I’m sure it’s fantastic.
Crymsyn: oh, yeah… yawn
Lexxx: yawning?
Crymsyn: well writing sex can get so boring…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

CONVERSATION 3: Kharisma Rhayne and Me

Kharisma:  ya know i’m just teasin ya..right
Me: Of course. I don’t take you seriously.
Kharisma: hahahaha…sometimes I am serious tho lol — it just hurts
Me: Being serious usually isn’t fun though.
Kharisma: Any clue what that dude is talking about? *color me confuckled*
Me: Not a clue… and I’m not sure I want to know. If he’s implying that he has two penises he’d be a huge hit with the fetish crowd, but a little too freaky for normal people.
Me: confuckled?
Kharisma: my word for confuse…. kinda confused in a sorta fucked up way
Me: Strange. I like it.
Kharisma: Iz not strange
Me: Yes you are. It’s one of your most charming traits.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

CONVERSATION 4: Selah Janel and Me
(because our conversations are so stimulating…)

Selah: I think a time lord came to our last show.
Me: Do what?
Selah: This random dude in a long coat and big hat with a really long scarf showed up on his own then left as soon as it was over.
Me: Bizarre… maybe he’s scouting you for a new race of humans.
Selah: Possibly…either he didn’t want to hurt my coworkers’ feelings or I’m not companion material.
Me: Or he’s reporting his findings to their council. After all, the target isn’t supposed to see the scout on the first trip.
Selah: Aah, this is true. He played it off by asking about show times, but I’m onto him.


So you see… writers, when left to their own devices, are not always the smooth wordsmiths you come to expect. We’re rarely, if ever, normal. But one thing’s for certain – we’re always entertaining.


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