I’m going to preface this with a little bit of explanation (because she did it to me last week when I went to play on her blog).
Selah and I have known each other a long time. A LONG TIME. Emphasis on the LONG. We started out as online friends and soon became real-life friends. And we’ve been stuck with each other ever since. I won’t actually say how we met beyond the fact that it was in a YahooGroup because giving more information would implicate us both in things better left undiscussed.
See, that’s the problem with us. We have so many bizarre and marginally abusive conversations that it’s hard to find safe ground for the public. She still blames me for getting stuck on an ice patch in the mall parking lot somewhere in Cincinnatti in January almost eleven years ago. What she fails to mention is that she only got stuck on the ice because she was on crutches in the first place…because she fell down the stairs and cracked her ankle. So you see, it wasn’t my fault.
However, I can blame her entirely for the concert road trip from hell. She just HAD to be a near-obsessive David Bowie fan…and she just HAD to graduate from college earlier that year. So Lexxx Christian and I HAD to buy her a ticket (because she was in North Carolina and we all wanted to go) to that concert in Manassas, VA. That trip was insane, but I wouldn’t trade most of the experience for the world. We won’t discuss the scary parts.
Ultimately this unhealthy relationship is a good one. Even though we’re awful to each other, there are lovely memories. She’s one of my best friends in the world and I love her to bits.
As to the truth in the following statements: I plead The Fifth.
You’ve Got a Friend…Except While Beta-Reading
So apparently it’s my turn to torture Susan on her blog. This means that anything I say really isn’t my fault because she 1. Did it to me first and 2. Out-ed me as being an unglamorous hobo in real life. It doesn’t matter if we’ve known each other longer than is healthy or if we do this to each other all the time, anyway…there are standards and I refuse to have anyone believe that I’m not glamorous at every second of the day (Shut up, Susan).
As you can tell, there are perks of having a friend and co-writer who you’re comfortable with. I’ve said in the past that an author shouldn’t be rude or a general tool to other people, but, well…there’s an exception to everything. Mostly because I know this sort of thing amuses Susan as much as it does me.
We kind of have our own special way of going about things. I’ve said on my own blog that we’re pretty kind and professional to everyone else. We go out of our way to suggest things, handle beta reading wisely, and lift up those other authors around us. I could tell a million stories on all of those (most of which would push me off the cliff with Susan), but let’s focus on the beta reading and editing for a minute.
It should be said that we know what the other is capable of. We’re very different writers, but we’re also mutually in love with each other’s work. We both love reading weird stuff, and we love having our brains broken to a certain degree. I know that I can send Susan the weirdest of the weird and she’ll keep up with me…so she tends to get most of my stuff that other people might report me over.
That being said, we also know each other’s bad habits, too. With anyone else we’d probably point it out and be encouraging, but with each other it’s a little different. If we published a volume of our mutual abuse you’d find such gems as…
Susan: I don’t know what you’re doing with your verbs but it makes me want to vomit or kill myself.
Selah: What are you even doing here? Is this even a thing? If it’s a thing, then it isn’t reading like a thing. Don’t send me more until it’s actually a thing.
Susan: I don’t know what the hell this is, but I think I like it anyway. I just wish I knew what it is.
Selah: YOUR CHARACTER DOESN’T KNOW THIS! YOU CAN’T JUST SAY HE KNEW SOMETHING IF HE ISN’T A PSYCHIC OR DEGREED IN IT! HE DIDN’T #$!%^%#^ KNOW IT AND IF YOU USE THE WORD KNOW LIKE THAT AGAIN I’M REACHING THROUGH THE SCREEN AND SLAPPING YOU!!!
We’re also very supportive of each other in text form. Seriously, no human besides us would probably be able to translate the tangents, disgusting ideas, and ridiculous plots that we send each other on a daily basis. This could be anything from a futuristic paranormal slant on the old west to domestic superheroes to Draculasaurus Rex (I know. I was the guilty party on that last one, though to my credit I was really tired and it was hilarious at the time). [SHR: I have to butt in here… it was funny as hell. I should post the texts that went with the picture one day.] It’s also nice to know that I can roll over in the wee hours of the morning and send her something like “So I kinda want to incorporate this idea into my book…is this too sleazy? Would you do something like this?” and know she won’t hit me.
It’s good to have someone who gets you. It’s nice to have a friend on your side who’s willing to smack you when you get a little too self-deprecating or over-the-top. It’s also good to have someone who will force you to go out in public and promote yourself, someone who will make you try.
She hates it when I compliment her, so I won’t (heh heh heh). I have every faith that we’ll fumble our way through this new world and eventually grab it by the throat in some form or another. And when it happens, it’s good to know that there will be with someone who’s just as bizarre as me.
Catch up with Selah and all her ongoing projects at the following places:
Fandom Scene Column – http://www.fandomfestblog.com/blogs/selah-janel
Facebook Author Page – http://www.facebook.com/authorSJ
Facebook Book Page – http://www.facebook.com/intherednovel
Twitter – http://www.twitter.com/SelahJanel
Tune in next week for more abuse! I’m sure I’ll think of something else to do to her between now and then.