Y’know, you’d think that as a writer I’d never run out of things to talk about. It would be nice if that were the case, but sadly it’s not. My life isn’t interesting. I don’t have great stories of adventure to tell.
Well, not ones that don’t involve copious amounts of imagination and alcohol.
No, my life is simple. Work all day, go home, cook dinner, change diapers, wash bottles, sleep intermittently between needy husband and two kids… see? Boring.
In my mind I’m a superhero. I’m invincible, I can fly, I have x-ray vision, and best of all I never, ever, ever have to sleep.
It’s funny this should come up because my friend Selah and I have been threatening for awhile now to co-author a few things and we both fall into that wannabe domestic superhero category. We’re both completely strung out from too much work and not enough appreciation. Neither of us has a clue when to say no or how to back away from the dreaded “favor”. Even with each other I don’t think we understand the concept of saying no.
It’s why we work. We get each other.
So the question of the day, good peeps… just how interested are you in superheroism of the domestic kind? Think two over worked ladies can make it big on the superhero scene? Most of all, do you think we have what it takes to make it?
Just for kicks, let me introduce you to one of the great ladies:
Ivy McDaniel is twenty-eight years old. She’s married with two small children, a host of unusual animals (the sugar glider and albino iguana being her favorites), and a husband who doesn’t understand that doormats are for wiping his feet. She can’t keep a car running but her mortgage stays paid and her three credit cards never get too out of control. By day she’s a much-abused office assistant, but by night…
Ivy is a superhero. Having spent the first years of her life traveling with her Aunt Penny and Uncle Curly on the carnival circuit, she picked up some pretty unusual talents. She has always known how to fly, but the x-ray vision first appeared at puberty. Her Uncle Curly taught her how to throw knives at a very early age. After he was convicted of the murder of three clowns, Aunt Penny left the circuit and settled down to raise Ivy.
As a teenager, Ivy tried to suppress her natural abilities because flying was greatly frowned upon by the track coach. Most of her fellow students made fun of her behind her back, but she always knew it thanks to her superior hearing. It wasn’t until she graduated from college that she really began to appreciate what she had. After all, with two small children, any bonuses on the Mom-front are welcome.
She also sleeps less than most humans, so after the kids and the husband are sound asleep she sneaks out to spend time fighting crime with her best friend.
Who said being Mom meant being chained to a stove?